Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Stupid Dog Owners Suck

First, let me say that I don't think all dogs are stupid, and I don't think people who own dogs are stupid. I'm saying Stupid Dog Owners suck. Let me tell you a story about this weekend.

Mom and I were hanging out in the yard, minding our own business (okay we were stalking a squirrel,) minding our own business when we both hear the familiar sound of a galloping dog bearing down on us. Usually I can hold my own with a dog, but even before I could see it, I knew this was a big dog. The sound of it's meaty paws tearing up the ground as it advanced chilled me to the bone, and we fled for the nearest tree.

From a sufficiently high branch, we could see that the dog was indeed large. One of the biggest pit bulls I've ever seen. The dog was furious that we'd escaped to our lofty perch and was barking and snarling and snapping from the ground like some kind of impotent, dry-land shark. Throughout the ordeal, I can hear a human voice calling to the dog to "Git yer ass back here, dangit."

The dog's "master" eventually trotted over and restrained the beast and confined it inside their mutual dwelling. I use quotes around "master" because in no way is the human that dog's master. For one to be a master would imply a level of control over the other. This man had none. One would think that after so many dog attacks just this year, that people who own the fierce breeds would know that the dogs need to be trained. If not only to protect others from mauling, but to protect themselves. Lawsuits, jail time, face scratching, and possibly even death await the Stupid Dog Owner.

Conditional training is easy and effective. There's no excuse for a person to own one of the more vicious breeds and not train it. None. If you are a dog owner, and your dog does not understand "heel" "sit" and "stay", then you are a Stupid Dog Owner, and your dog is less a pet than a wild beast.

So anyway, I was so upset about the whole situation that I went over to Stupid's house and purified his front doormat. After that, I hung on the window screen ala Garfield, and listened to the dog bark for a while before I went back to stalking the squirrel.